First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize