you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
