I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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