My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
