I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
