We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
