he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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