im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
