So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
