Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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