I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize