I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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