then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
