i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
