I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
