I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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