How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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