i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
