The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
