i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
