Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize