He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
