she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
