He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
