so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
