porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I believe in your delicious
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
