I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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