So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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