There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
