If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize