Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
