i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
