Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
