dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
