wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
