...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
