just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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