btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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