This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize