i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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