He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
