That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVEâ€
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
