I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
