Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
