i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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