What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
