Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize