before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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