Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
