a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
