and you said cock pushups were impossible
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
