We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
