I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
They have beer where we have blood.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
