if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
