I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
should my penis look like a turkey
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
