I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
