In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
