What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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